Raven

            Harmonious beats of straining wings propelled the raven forth as silent as a ghost’s whisper when the wind swayed his course in a whimsical fashion. Soaring high above the trees there was an aura of beauty as a rainbow captivated the sky giving the monochromes bird a grotesque appearance against the dreamer’s paradise. Ah, America. The raven felt like the perfect addition to the peaceful landscape; captivating. Into the distance he soared above the great plains of the bright summer day as the rainbow drifted into nothing. The adventurous raven dared to catch it before it vanished. The surge of emotion gripped the raven’s heart as the colors faded. “Exquisite, evasive, extraordinary” sung through his skull as fatigue sent him to rest in a tree and proclaim this beautiful evanescence in solitude.

Bloomers

            “It’s wretched hot in these ghastly bloomers and quite honestly those stuck up prats don’t need their precious water at this time, they’re too lazy to get off their white rumps anyway!” She peered left, glanced right and came to the content conclusion that all was clear. She slipped off her over-dress and wriggled out of the thick under garments.

            The sun reflected off the water in such an inviting fashion. The earth was smoldering under the unforgiving rays, even the little critters were too parched to chirp and click. Every organism seemed to hide in the shade, free from boiling and scorching under the safe haven of tree leaves. She viewed the surroundings, sweat glistening off of her skin. The mountains were so serene for the water made a splendid compliment. The trees loomed over the clearing of grass in a forgiving way, protecting the tiny kin from the ceaseless searing.

            She didn’t test the water but instead plummeted in bare-skinned and felt a cool refreshment rush over her, calming her skin and muscles. “Oh good god! Really, it’s dreadful cold but I reckon this is the better end of the deal.” She whispered to herself, greedily enjoying this pleasure as her masters waited for the pail of water. “Honestly, I’ve been a damn servant for years and I still have to sleep in the hay.” She untangled a strand of hay from her hair and threw it far into the distance.

            Through the trees a man stood unaware of the beautiful woman basking in the lake. He too was looking for sweet relief but not from a demanding household but a demanding nation. The prince stood in his knickers, about ready to feel the water through his thick burgundy hair. As he hung the last of his clothing on the branch he noticed the pail nestled in the lush greenery. Then, a glittering parade of ripples caught his eye, followed by the silhouette of a young woman with a seemingly perfect figure.

            Cheeks flushed he adverted his eyes, unsure of what route to take. It honestly was unbearable to view the lake and not want to take a dip in but he decided against pursuing this gorgeous maiden in such a fashion, but hell, he was the prince after all.

A Life Changing Event

It had been in November, I was at my godmother’s wedding. It was right after taking pictures of the happy bride and groom when I checked my phone and my life changed forever. They had been my friends, my three best friends whom I had just planned a trip to Florida with without them knowing literally five minutes before they betrayed me. They had rejected my friendship, out of the blue, out of nowhere, without explanation, in a span of a few text messages. Really? Text Messages? We were juniors in high school and they didn’t have the audacity to confront me in person, they had to hide behind technology as they tore me down. “You’re not worth our friendship anymore” among with other very mean and inappropriate things were sent to me, by all three of them, all at the same time. Apparently I was a fun topic to talk about at sleepovers.

            So, there I was, at the wedding reception, bawling my eyes out just wanting some answers but, I guess I’m unworthy of that right. I’ll never know why they did it or what drove them to do it. No one really does but the next day at school was awful. They had tried their hardest to get people to hate me by telling them lies, telling them all of the fights we had. Eleven years of friendship meant jack in the end and they used everything against me to try to scrounge up enemies. This really forced me to reevaluate how I am as a friend and who really was a friend in the end. The result of this little “hate club” was devastating but necessary.

            With a void in my life it was pretty hard to even function. I was left broken with a boyfriend who became my support overnight. This automatic dependency on a boy I had been dating for only two months took a toll on our relationship. I was blind to how poor he had been treating me due to how much I needed him for a bit while I tried to regain my dignity. This event ruined a good portion of my junior year of high school because no matter what, those three would run their mouths and continue to give me reasons to loath every fiber of their being. It was impossible to come to school sometimes when I had so much anger built up so at one point I knew I was going to snap, sending fists of fury into their faces but I controlled it and thought to myself “that lack of social skills will hold them back as I move forward.”

            I had to be strong, I had to have a chin up and I learned how to just accept things and believe that life moves on. I had to embrace the concept that being nice to people who may not entirely deserves it is really good for the soul. Being nice because it feels nice is false, but being nice because it’s a yearning that needs to be fulfilled is true and that is what those three made me follow. Due to them I am more independent and nicer overall. Despite how much they influenced a terrible relationship I was in it really helped me develop as a person.

            A year and a half later it is clear to me that those three really needed to do that. I am better than that, I will move on and I strive to be the best I can be. My new friends don’t ridicule about my interests or scoff at my habits, my old but new friends have been through it all and will pick me up when I am down which is something I am not accustomed to. So really, at this point, I would like to thank those three that put me down for no reason in a text message. They showed me how much better I am than I thought I was. Now I can put one foot in front of the other and get moving to a life that I am independent in.

Assigned by a Buttface

Agatha Christie, what a gal. She’s mellow when she wants to be, hyper when she wants to be. With flowing black hair and an addiction to cottage cheese and peanut butter she is someone people find all too fond. Sure, her exotic appearance forces people to stare but most of them find her to be a beautiful young lady. Only a few years after her teens her youth is charming and inviting. I suppose you could say she is ideal; however, some characteristics hinder perfection but those are all minimal.

She loves hockey oddly enough. Get her in a hockey stadium and you’ll hear her cheer from across the rink, and whether it’s appropriate for children I’ll spoil the fun and fill you in that no, no it is not. I mean, this isn’t to say she isn’t a good role model…she is one of the most athletic people I know, running faster than anyone I’ve ever seen with an eye that can spot any high ball.

Aggie is such a daddy’s girl too. Pops is her favorite and everyone knows it, they’re always playing catch in the park and always walk together and he simply adores her. I mean, yeah, sometimes she gets out of line and he isn’t afraid to scold her but their friendship is gained soon enough. This isn’t to say Aggie doesn’t love her mama but it’s kind of clear who she prefers.

As for her sisters we get along lovely. We’re always bathing in the sun together, always hanging out, always skateboarding. Our similar intellect make us quite compatible, along with our sleeping habits of…none. We have a lot of the same facial features as well which make us quite the hoot at dinner; her eyebrows are very expressive as mine. We both even hate shopping, she’s not a prissy little thing which is quite a relief. In the winter we’re two peas in a pod, she loves the cold, I love the cold. In the spring we’re twins, she hates the cold rain, I hate the cold rain. In the summer it’s like we’re separated at birth, she loves basking, I love basking. Even in the fall we are soul mates, she loves being outside, I love being outside.

Yeah, Aggie is pretty great, a bit vulgar, totally active, a fool, and someone I really enjoy and get along with. I mean even while rooming with her she was a joy. Sometimes her half of the room was a little messy but overall she picked her stuff up and put it where it belonged. She had a simple taste like I do so really we were the perfect pair. Aggie will never have children though, not her thing really. That’s fine though, I don’t think the world could handle another Agatha Christie…spoiler alert…Aggie is my pet dog.

Evoking Couplets

This is something I wrote to really just evoke a response. It isn't about anyone that I actually know, there wasn't even a real muse...unless you want to count Lindsay Lohan's character in "Mean Girls."

*  *  *

To walk in a row two by two
I hardly even realize that one is you.
With you hair and make-up all the same
Honestly now, I am not the one to blame.
You declare yourself unique and different,
And there is no way you are your claimed misfit.
So as you sit there and gossip and speak of pseudo-truths
Don’t you ever dare speak a word against Ruth.
Ruth is an individual and Ruth is true
And Ruth is living a life quite unlike you.
She actually cares about others and is one in a million
Unlike your plastic cut-out self manufactured by the billion.
All you ever crave is to look "cute" and "important."
Well let me tell you, your personality is dirtier than my doormat.
Look at me and sneer all you want,
But honey, mother gave me more to flaunt.
So hike down your shirt and yank up your shorts,
And I'll see you in a few years during a custody battle in court.
Call me blunt all you want, even call me brutal,
But you are the media's tiny toy poodle.
They carry you around and dress you as the intend;
You are hanging on a leash, you know, don't pretend.
I stand before you, ranting and raving,
But I can see through to the personality you're saving.
Please break free from your fake outer shell,
And honestly ask, what purpose you attempt to sell?
Exactly, there is none, you have no crowd.
So stop writing a speech for society's acceptance for they only frown.
Don't plead to good ol' mirror mirror on the wall,
Because it won't show your outer beauty but your defeat and fall
For those who shine from the inside then beyond
Have a true character and beauty most find fond.
So remember not the snicker at Ruth, a girl so quaint,
But rather think of her as Genuine’s saint.
Because you aren't so great and you're not so grand,
And despite your high GPA and "friends" you're rather quite bland.
I was once a friend when convenient but now just a burden,
But hell, your real "friends" go on and herd 'em;
Because they, like you, are just sheep in life,
And I'd be ashamed if I was a man and you were my wife.
I know that you would lack care and compassion
For being plastic is your favorite past-time interaction.
And I ask you one more time to not be what you act like, scum,
But instead defy the plastic and be real from toe to mind to thumb.
Once you do that you won't be filed in a line.
Then after that you and I can be friends and be kind.

Minisode Two

     Quite honestly she saw him as too good to be true. They were surrounded by a crowd of flirtatious singles, nervous new couples, and old friends. He had held the door, helped take her jacket off, and even pulled the chair out for her. As the crowd bustled around them there was a subtle shell of calmness that kept the conversation light but intimate. He was interested in Olivia and she began searching for reasons to see a flash of white. The defiant jaw line emphasized his straight teeth and charming dimples.
     "Oh but really now, a girl like you, slaving away behind a mountain of gloriously wasted paper and terrible writing? Seems like you could be well on your way by now, somewhere bigger and better. What is it that you want to do anyway? You keep dancing around the topic."
     "The things that I want to do and the things that I will do are so far from each other it doesn't really matter. We'll just go with the idea that I'll forever be dealing with the minuscule and tedious task of accounting."
     "There you go again, what the hell do you want to do? Why settle for less?" His fingertips were less than an inch from her folded hands. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body as she noted his chivalrous behavior.
     "If I could I would just get out of this place. I want to really hold all of the accounts of those high-end snobs that blow their money on 'fine art' because really, who doesn't want a large wall-sized painting of three colored lines for $68,000? Sometimes I cannot understand art. I'd really only use that as an excuse to go out and travel, wasting oodles of money that they would never notice gone." There was a sliver of teeth and a deep chuckle as Connor Rouge's eyes burned deep. Connor Rouge, a gentleman. Connor Rouge who had graduated from college two years prior. "Well, what about you Mr. Mysterious? Why are you still in this town? I don't see you starving your social life by hitting the books every day and night."
     There was an odd air suddenly where the shield of serenity faded, his smile faltered in a moment, and for a second Olivia's attention was focused on the crowd. The magic came back as quickly as it left and the meeting carried through the night.

Zachary Joel ButtFace

     Zach is really mean. You think he is one of those characters who is genuine and who really cares about you and who really is into what you write and all that jazz but NO! Zachary Joel Butzlaff is the spawn of SATAN. He is Lucifer's child, his beloved. The fallen angel took someone under his wing, his dark, black, soulless wing and converted him into a gremlin of hate.
     If you were to cut open one of his arteries there wouldn't be blood, no, just a poisonous spew that can melt the flesh off of any normal human being. His teeth aren't normal teeth either, they inject the spew into his victims, paralyzing them for a slow decay that manifests from the inside out. He lures his prey in by whispers of sweet nothings, taunting of the dreams and aspirations of those around him.
     He does, in fact, have horns as well. They are hidden of course, under a large cap that acts as a skull, enlarging his head tenfold. His eyeballs are those like Medusa's, one quick glance from him (only when he wishes) and you're as frozen as Antarctica’s ice cream. It's not as pleasant though, you don't taste like sweets and goodies, you're a stone bro, a stone.
     His hair? Completely and utterly course and wiry, one touch of that and you'll be bleeding out two pints of crimson faster than you can say "ow," so...basically, he's like a porcupine. His hands are cold, freezing to be exact, like liquid nitrogen. He could touch you with one of those bad boys and you won't know what hit you till you found fragments of collagen and other skin-related tissues.
     Mr. Butzlaff even has deadly snot. Watch out for that sneeze, it will project vile liquid that is notorious for blinding thousands by the nanosecond. Sure, it's green and looks friendly like the leaves of the tree but HELL NO! That stuff can evaporate any hopes and dreams of watching your baby girl walk down the isle. Yeah, think about it. Just because he had a tickle in his nose you can't see your daughter get married. Talk about inconsiderate.
     Don't even get me started on all of his other bodily functions. Take a side step from those sweat glands as well. Ever wondered what someone would look like covered in blood blisters? I haven't but if you're a sick freak and think about that, wonder no further, he can make it happen. It's like the water from his body is at a boiling degree and can burn your skin so severely the blood rises in protest. Sorry, but, ew. Way to go Zach, way to not wear deodorant to clog up those pores. Now dear Aunt Sally has to worry about blood blisters at her next high school reunion.
     What about after his meal? Sometimes you really just have to see a man about a wallaby. In this case, don't enter that toilet chamber anytime soon for the smell of
that raunchy business would don you incapable of moving, swelling up the joints. Yup, paralytic sniff. Talk about that for a lovely treat, walking in to do your thing and suddenly can't move with your drawers at your ankles. What a way to go, sorry Grandma. So then comes the fun part, what really made that stank so deadly?
     I'll give you the answer, his diet, or dare I say...a lack there of. Zach has a habit of eating whatever, wherever, and however. You're trapped in a room with him? Sorry bud, cannibalism is a nice way to kick start a whole meal, you're just a squirming appetizer. Now, the good stuff comes from the land of Oz, Toto? Oh man, he wasn't just in Kansas but on a fast track to a stomach filled of insane gastric juices. Bye bye puppy, you've been served in a good ol' pot pie. Missing a baby? Probably on a rotisserie rod and roasting over a roaring fire. Remember that kitten that you found in the park the other day? Oh yeah, he wasn't an only child. Zach has a habit of hack sawing kittens in two, they taste lovely on crackers apparently. So there you have it, a meal fit for a king (of death.)
     Let's get a few things straight though, when he was welcomed into the world, it wasn't in a bit fit of spit and flames, no, he was popped out of a woman disguised as a wrinkled wad of skin. When he made his first debut it wasn't under some girl's bed or in her closet, it was in school, amongst children. The hunter needs to understand his prey. I have the poor fortune of being one of his prey for this morning Zach was malicious against me in word. Never have I been so offended in my life but before he could start carrying out more sinister deeds I ducked and covered, barely escaping the cynical grasp of Zachary Joel ButtFace.